Sammy's Story
by Brenda Smith
This is a story about choices. Although everyone's circumstances are different, there is one thing they all have in common and that is the God-given power of choice. We often wonder why one person's outcome is so different than another person's of the same circumstance. I personally believe that this is the direct result of the choices that each individual makes.
I would like to share the example of my son Sammy who comes from a background not unlike many other children of a broken middle-class home. I could go on and on about the disadvantages and turmoil that life's journey took us through. I could tell you that Sammy made bad choices and that I personally took them as a reflection of what kind of parent I had been. Instead, I am going to tell you that I came to truly believe Sammy has a higher power working in his life, and it isn't me.
As with all children, Sammy is a very intelligent, handsome, and considerate human being. I have always believed that there are no bad children only bad choices. Because of Sammy's unhappiness, deep-seated anger and low self-esteem, he turned to drugs at the tender age of twelve. This caused a chain of events that affected every life he came in contact with, and our family struggled along through the denial of that. His schoolwork was suffering, neighbors were knocking on my door, things in my house were disappearing, and suspension from school was a very common occurrence. He was arrested at thirteen, and that is when I started searching for help in earnest as the veil of denial finally fell away. I searched everywhere including the schools, therapists, recovery programs and even the court system. I decided to try the Tulsa Boys Home. Sammy was there for thirteen months, but unfortunately he was not ready for help at that time. I was, however, and in order for Sammy to be able to stay at the Tulsa Boys Home, I had to join a recovery support group for family and friends of chemically dependant individuals. What I have learned from that group has changed the life of my family forever. I learned to turn Sammy over to his higher power and that my only job was to offer him positive options to the life he was leading. I learned that in order for God to work in Sammy's life, I would have to get out of the way.
As Sammy continued to spiral downward, I prayed. In between prayers we checked into a drug rehab center, and we went to recovery programs. He got kicked out of pubic and street school, became a high-school dropout at sixteen, and ran away from home. I began to wonder if Sammy would ever reach eighteen years of age without becoming a statistic. Through it all I continued to pray for God's will in my precious son's life. I put all my faith in God and believed that he would take care of Sammy. Every day I mentally turned my son over to God. Some days I had to hit my knees many times to pray for the sake of my child and to keep my sanity.
I continued to plant the seeds of promise in Sammy's mind, and I prayed constantly. I knew that I couldn't force my will on him, but I could offer him positive alternatives to drugs and despair. My faith was strong and although at times I thought things could not possibly get worse, I never gave up. We struggled through four years of drugs and destruction as the son I once knew and loved slowly but steadily slipped away. It was then that God put Thunderbird Youth Academy into our lives.
I would like to tell you that it was a smooth transition and that Sammy was eager to enter the Thunderbird program but that would be a lie. Sammy did not pass the required drug test at the initial orientation so I prayed every day from then on for God's will in Sammy's life. I knew that the outcome was in His hands. Thunderbird believed in the kids and gave them the chance to get clean before final intake. When we arrived in June 2003 at Camp Gruber, I prayed as I watched children making themselves throw-up in the parking lot hoping to pass their drug test. As we said our good-byes and the staff took our children from us that morning, I prayed. As the day wore on and we went through the long arduous check-in process, I prayed. As they brought children back to their parents throughout the day because they had failed their drug test, I prayed. At 4:30 that afternoon when they informed me that my child had passed his drug test, I broke down and sobbed my many thanks to God.
Twenty-two days later, I received a call to come and get Sammy, or he was going to be thrown out of Thunderbird. He made the choice to quit on his own in lieu of getting thrown out to ensure that he could return the following cycle. I was shocked, disappointed, resentful, and angry by his behavior. On the way to pick Sammy up that evening, I prayed for the strength and the serenity to get through this. The trip home from Thunderbird that night gave me more promise than I had ever known since this whole thing had started. In those twenty-two days, something had happened to Sammy, and for the first time in his life, he had a passion for something. He wanted and vowed to return to Thunderbird the next cycle. I prayed for the strength and faith to believe in and support him through the next four months until he could return for I believed that God had used Thunderbird as a vehicle for Sammy's trip back to Him.
In January 2004 we returned to Camp Gruber. I would like to say that the last four months had been uneventful but that would be another lie. It was de'ja'vu all over again. Sammy once again did not pass the required drug test at the initial orientation. I told him that if he didn't pass his drug test at intake to Camp Gruber, he would not be welcome back at home. I reinforced that decision every day in the four months since he was last at Thunderbird. I have never prayed so hard for anything in my life, and God didn't let us down that day. I believe with all my heart that Thunderbird was God's will for Sammy and for that I am truly grateful. I am grateful that He gave my child the power to make that choice, and I am grateful for the wonderful staff and program that was there for Sammy when he needed and was ready for it. Thunderbird offered him the life of promise and positive choices that I had been praying for.
I am proud to say that Sammy did complete the program and a few weeks before graduating he went to the recruiting office there on campus and enlisted in the US Army. After five and a half months in the Thunderbird program my son had gone from a sixteen-year-old high school drug addicted drop out to a seventeen-year old high school graduate and enlisted man. Thunderbird gave Sammy the self-esteem, confidence, and belief in himself to achieve that. Without their perseverance, patience, dedication, and love, I feel certain that my child would be just another tragic couple of lines in the newspaper that prompt us to say, "Oh, how sad."
I am also proud to say that as of today Sammy has graduated from Army boot camp at Fort Jackson, SC, and is currently doing his advanced individual training at Fort Lee, VA. He refers to the Army as his career and always says to me, "When I retire, I will only be 37, Mom". These are the positive alternatives that God gave Sammy the power to choose from.
I am writing this article in an effort to help parents realize that although we think it is up to us to make sure that our children make the right decisions, it is ultimately their choice. Our most important job is to pray for God's will in their lives. It is only after that that we can plant the seeds and offer our children the tools, like the Thunderbird program, to make positive choices.
I highly recommend Thunderbird Youth Academy for troubled youngsters. The program offers a child the structure and discipline that is lacking in the public school system and many homes today. My son thrived in the Thunderbird environment, and I thank God everyday for putting it into his life at a time when he needed it most. I will be forever grateful to the staff and all involved in the program for helping my child find his way back to what is important. his God and himself.
Best wishes to you all and my prayers are with you.
Much love from the heart of the proud mother of an American soldier,
Brenda Smith
