A Mother's Story
I want to share with you the experience I've had with the Virginia National Guard Youth ChalleNGe Program (VNGYCP). My son, Robert, has been an independent thinker since the day he was born. It did not matter to him what anyone else needed or wanted, he was determined to do things his way. Like most parents, it was cute at first, but as time went by, the cuteness wore off and this independence became "annoying" for lack of a better word. That annoyance turned to anger, at everything.
Robert proved to be very "book" smart, but lacked social skills. I spent thousands of dollars in therapy, tried various discipline tactics, and spent hundreds of hours in counseling, exhausting every possible avenue. As long as everything was going Robert's way, he was the most loveable child, but that could change in a Mississippi minute.
For five years, I raised Robbie solely by myself. I spent my time earning a college degree, working and raising the children, (Rob has a sister, two years older than he), hoping to set a good example, accentuating the positive and focusing on building on the children's foundation. It wasn't enough. The pent-up anger and frustration grew worse with each passing year. Robert showed less respect for me and more anger.
I researched Military schools, talked with disciplinarians, talked to police officers, and to whomever would listen. The family mediator for Chesapeake Juvenile Court suggested ChalleNGe. I called and received an application. Robert and I toured the facility. He spoke with the cadets. I was encouraged. Robert was not. Constantly over the next few months, I approached Robert about the VNGYCP, only to be told, "You just want to get rid of me." When he turned seventeen, he was left with a choice go into the VNGYCP or find somewhere else to live. I was at my wits end. The physical and mental abuse had taken its toll.
On January 14th, we came to the first interview at the VNGYCP. After hearing more about the program and speaking with some of "the guys", he decided if he was accepted, it was his best option. Not to mention, me, his sister, his grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends were pressuring him to make a decision. For most of us, our lives were in limbo while waiting for Robert to decide. No one could stop "catering" to Rob.
On January 26th, we attended the final interview. Colonel Bean, former ChalleNGe Director, was apprehensive about allowing Robert into the program but Robert convinced Colonel Bean that he needed the discipline and promised, "Not to let him down".
I left that day without Rob and with a heavy heart, wondering if I had directed him in the path best for him to succeed. I wrote letters every day, knowing he wouldn't get the first one for two weeks. It was hard not to tell him how much I missed him. I prayed everyday. I told him how proud I was of HIS choice.
The first call home was short. The second letter home was filled with anger and hatefulness. The first visit home was great the first day!! I could see the transformation beginning to take place; however, it did not take long (the morning of the second day) for him to fall back into his old ways. I was anxious to take him back to ChalleNGe.
Things got better. Robert continued to grow. After approximately three months, he was awarded the monthly leadership award, math award and social studies award in his platoon. The cadre told of how he mentored several of the cadets in his platoon and tutored those struggling academically. He formed friendships. Each visit home and each telephone conversation was better. Slowly, very slowly, Rob and I began to rebuild our relationship, working on trust first.
On June 25, 2005, Robert graduated from the Virginia National Guard Commonwealth ChalleNGe Program and was awarded the Most Distinguished Cadet Award by the ChalleNGe staff. He was presented with the Generals coin by MG Claude Williams, Adjutant General of Virginia. Rob immediately started working for Hardees, where he got up every morning at 4 am, rain or shine, and rode his bicycle two miles to work. He then decided to join the Virginia National Guard and on September 19 he left for Basic Training in Charleston, South Carolina. I am anxious to see him graduate on December 2, 2005 from the Army National Guard Basic Training. After AIT School Rob aspires to attend Virginia Military Institute in the Fall of 2006.
By: Linda Leake, Mother of Robert Leake, Class 22