In November 2005, my son Brent was bouncing from house to house without any idea where his life was going. Nobody could get through to him and he chose not to live by any rules or boundaries.
It was looking less and less likely that he would graduate from high school, and our family was at a loss as to what to do. Should we let him continue on his path of destruction? Should we give him tough love and hope that he didn't disappear altogether? As a mother, I just could not put Brent out on the street and I begged his dad not to either.
Finally Brent's grandfather invited him to stay with him for a while. In the meantime, I was looking for answers through family counseling on the internet and reading a book on how to talk to my teenager. The solutions seemed so easy to me, but you would think we were asking him to cut off his limb. I heard the words "I hate you" so often that I was numbed by them.
One day in my desperate search for answers I came across the Grizzly Youth Academy website. I read every word and downloaded the application. I called my ex-husband and asked him to check it out too.
We were all convinced GYA was worth a try, but the challenge was convincing Brent. At first, he was pretty vague about his feelings. So his dad and I did all the paperwork and submitted it in the off-chance that he would be accepted for Session 16 in January of 2006.
I never really believed he would be accepted, but it was the only hope I had left. Christmas came and there was still a lot of drama going on in Brent's life. He told me he didn't want to spend Christmas with me, so my new husband and I decided to take a road trip. We spent the weekend before Christmas with Brent and he wasn't pleased with his Christmas gifts at all.
A few days into my road trip I got a call from GYA to say that Brent had been accepted! I cried, I laughed, I felt enormous relief-only to be disappointed when Brent said, "Mom, I don't want to go." My stomach dropped and my fears started again. I finally came to terms with the fact that Brent was going to take the hard road (which looked like the easy road) and decided I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do.
When Brent and I talked again it was one of the calmest conversations I had had with him in a long time. I told him how disappointed I was that he was throwing away this opportunity and that as a parent it was my job to provide guidance. Ultimately, it was up to him to accept what I had to offer. I would support his decision, but now he had to come up with Plan B for getting his high school diploma so that he could get a job and become self-sufficient. I told him I still loved him very much.
At that moment, things looked so dismal for Brent's future. Hours went by, and I received another call from GYA asking if Brent had made up his mind. I told the Sergeant that I didn't think he would be going. Shortly after that, a miracle happened. Brent called to tell me he was going to GYA and had told them he'd be there on Jan 15th!
That was then, this is now. In two weeks Brent will graduate and get his high school diploma from GYA. The transformation I have witnessed in my son is truly amazing.
The boy that we checked in on Jan 15, 2006 is now a man. He walks with purpose, his head up, shoulders back, and a smile on his face. He no longer mumbles and he looks you in the eye when he talks to you. During the 22 weeks he's been there I received letters almost weekly as did his grandmother and great-grandparents!
For the first time, Brent acts excited about the possibilities of his future. He is anxious to be working and supporting himself. He finally knows what it feels like to succeed! He knows that doing something you don't really want to do can be rewarding, because he knows how hard he had to work to achieve success. His confidence and self-esteem are at an all-time high.
We are so proud of the man we are getting back in June. The beautiful soul I knew my son to be has come back to us, and we welcome him with open arms. We are confident that Brent now has the tools he needs to sustain this lifestyle and live a fulfilled and exciting life with boundaries and limitations!
All this is because of the Grizzly Youth Academy and the dedicated staff who are committed to the youth. I believe it takes a village to raise children, and GYA has become part of our extended family. I owe my life to them and can't thank them enough for what they did for Brent and for our family. If I can ever pay it forward I will. There is hope and it's called the Grizzly Youth Academy! Thank you!
Becca Beck
Mom of Cadet Brent Roland, 2nd Platoon Wolverines